Love Sex Paisa aur Dhoka(LSPD)

IPL was finally replaced on the front cover of Indian newspapers! You'd wish it was by some scientist who'd won us laurels abroad or the more possibility of some obscure Swami turning sex guru. The new box office hit is a bureaucrat who's name was unheard of until she indulged in LSPD. Madhuri Gupta has gone the way where no Indian civil servant has tread before - treason. All for a bit of love, more of sex, lots of money and tonnes of dhoka.

Yes,she may have been disgusted with a B grade job of translating urdu newspapers at the fag end of her career.
Yes,the Indian Foreign Service had promised her a brilliant career.
Yes,none of that had come true.
No,that does not justify any of the dastardly acts she has committed.

Indian Foreign Service or for that matter any foreign service is battered with cases of diplomats indulging in romanticism with locals. It is an accepted norm. One IFS aspirant in his interview was asked his motivation to join IFS. The prompt, proper but unconvincing reply- I want to represent India abroad. To which he was told in no uncertain words that it was in fact the lure of it being a wine and women service.

Madhuri Gupta is a weak woman. Her first name belies her.
So she may have been tempted for L and S. But, why P and D?.

A weak character.
In the strongest of service.

May my nation pray.

Philanthropists: The Sultans of Change

My father used to say, “You can spend a lot of time making money. The tough time comes when you have to give it away properly.” How to give something back, that’s the tough part in life:

Lee Iacocca

If you have read Fountainhead, you might remember Peter Keating, the ambitious but corrupt architect, asking his mentor,Guy Francon, if he felt contentment at the end of his career. Francon replies in the negative which leaves Keating disillusioned for Francon had everything that he aspired for- fame, money, power..but not contentment.

While Ayn Rand dealt with contentment from the perspective of how much a man really strives to do what he wants and not what people want of him, my view on contentment is more on how we have managed to influence the people around us, the people who need us- four billion of the six billion people on this earth who are deprived of the material comforts that you and me enjoy and take for granted.

I dont know where my discussion with a friend started but eventually we were talking about why it is necessary to build yourself first, professionally and personally, before you try and change the world. Who would listen to us if we stood up and started talking about women's rights, child abuse..blah blah.If Bill Gates makes even a statement on any social issue in passing, people all over the world start discussing it- in the papers, newsrooms, magazines..everywhere.

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The gist being that you can have more influence on changing the world being a philanthropist than a social worker. Quite obviously, the two are different roles and cannot exist without the other. Philanthropists have the finances and vision while social workers have the passion and resources. However, philanthropy, has a power that social work does not have- Dictating the change. Money talks, even in the noblest of causes.

For example, name three prominent philantrhopists and you'd rattle of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Henry Ford.

Name three prominent social workers known all over the world...try going beyond Mother Teressa!

That's also to say that philanthropists get more publicity than social workers. But, I'd rather not dwell on the morality of it.

In the video on youtube, Severn Suzuki the 12 yr old girl "who silenced the world for five minutes", talks of a poor boy in her locality who said- "I want to be rich. Rich so that I can give a home and food to eat to all the poor kids in the world" He realised he would have to be rich to make that change.

People who build careers and strive to make money are often scoffed at.

Dont. For one reason, that it his choice and effort.

Second, at the end of the day, if either of you chooses to make the world a better place-you would be the one talking, he would be the one dictating.

Some people I remember...

I was reading a disucssion on the Nature vs Nurture debate in Freakonomics. "Nature" supporters say that our lives are determined by factors existent at birth, like our race, parents IQ,background, community etc. Nurture supporters say that our lives are moulded by our parents in the way they bring us up.
A third category which rejects both these viewpoints says that our personality depends not on where we born or who brings us up, rather it is dependent on the people we grow up with, more specifically, our peer group.
This third category is at first glance blasphemous. But, as I started rewinding and trying to understand what factors influenced my moulding, it was my experience with people in my life..my peer group. For every facet there might not be just one person but more who would have influenced me. I am not taking names so you can guess which facet is yours.

Be happy. Stay Happy. Laugh Happy
A friend who I have always seen with a big smile on his face..and I mean it's a big smile with glint in his eyes. Be it while talking with his friends, parents or girlfriend(by this inclusion have ruled out 90% of my friends :) )..perpetually happy. If I could replace a smiley, it would be with his grinning like a pig face.

Stay Cool. Nothing is alarming.
Be it exams, games or girlfriend..let your mind be cool. Dont lose your head.

Dont say yes when you want to say no.
Be clear with what you expect of friends. Even if it it gets them riled with your "rules" and what not! They will cuss on your face but secretly accept your space and in time respect it.

Slow and steady wins the race.
If not today, I will win tomorrow. My work will remain in progress till then.

Whats on your mind is on your tongue.
Speak your mind..and respect the other when he/she does. It means they trust you. Value it.

Talk stupid. Act stupid. Its okay at times.
At your emotional worst, let go to a person close to you. It helps. It often becomes a beautiful memory.

Nothing is serious. If it is, just maa chudaa.
With a wave of your hand and the bful cuss word on your lips, walk out of any situation. I am the king of my life. Even if it takes a bit of going "green" to reassure yourself that at times.

Be Balanced.
Whatever be the situation, always see both sides of the coin.

Sorry is not a sorry word.
If it makes things better, dont hesitate to say sorry. At times, that is all people need to hear from you. Say it , move on.

Show emotions to friends.
Keep saying it. At times, friends more than girl/boyfriend need to hear you say "I love you". And no its not gay to say that.

Write and tell "I love you"
Its special. Its forever. Do it often.

Help a friend.
Have the faith of your friends that they can call you and seek your help whenever and about whatever.

Ambition-Never let it die
Do the right things in life at the right time and you are guaranteed success. But, remain humble.

Married!

Blogging after ages.

So, what compelled me to start blogging again?. The need to express. As Airtel says, "Express Yourself".

College ended in Dec. I thought I had a six month break before joining with Exxon/Michelin in July.

Six months I did have but it hasnt exactly been a break.

I interned for a month with Thermax in February. While applying to Thermax, I was keen to work in their upcoming solar energy department. They denied saying it was in the research and development stage and so were reluctant to expose it to interns. However, I was told, that I would get exciting work in the "Innovation" department in the most successful product of Thermax, the S and M Boiler . How far behind times this dept was became evident when their understanding of innovation was making databases on MS Excel. Admittedly, I was not familiar with MS Excel( and it still finds way on my CV "Proficient in MS Office 2007" ), so whatever I was doing was a learning experience. A week into my intern, I had done all the learning there was to do. I quit Thermax.

A family friend once changed his job three times in two years..he finally ended up joining the company he'd quit the first time. Of course, he joined at a better post and salary. For a person whose world started and ended with defence forces, changing jobs..that too so frequently, seemed anathema.

However, now that I am myself working, I can understand the reason behind his changes.

At the time of joining an organization, work seems challenging, simply because its new and untried. A good job is able to sustain that challenging nature. A bad job isnt.

That's the difference between organizations that give careers and the ones that give jobs.

The former are good coys and the latter bad.

I couldnt quite understand why the interviewers would ask questions like- Do you like challenges? Where do you see yourself five years from now? How have you dealt with a difficult situation?...HR questions. I'd answered them diligently.

In retrospection, I believe that for the interviewers the answers mattered immensely. For, while the technical rounds indicate the aptitude for work, the HR rounds indicate the "longevity" of your stay with the company.

For a good org, if you answer saying yes, I love challenges, not just saying, but it also being indicated through your co curriculars, you appeal to them. Its a good match.

However, to a bad org, inspite of saying they have challenging work, they search for that nature only to determine if you dont have it. For they dont have the work to offer to suit your expectations. Instead, they select meidocres. Average expectation- easy to fulfill, employee stays, company profits.

If you consider yourself competitive and yet get rejected, dont lose heart. A job interview is like an arrange marriage. The interviewers of bad coys just found you too beautiful and succesful to marry. You are good as a girl friend but not as a wife. But then, they are not looking for flings...just someone to settle down with. Keep looking beautiful and your prince charming(a good coy) will find you soon.

Its not philosophy that I am throwing around but from my experience. I got rejected by coys, the numer of which I dont care to even mention now, partly out of embarassment and partly coz its inconsequential. Three months and so many heartaches..but I kept my faith..I am just too "beautiful" for these suckers, let my prince charming come.

It did come, in the form of Exxon Mobil..in fact if you follow Fortune 500, it's the King Charming.

Michelin Tires, loaded with gifts and hotel stays also extended an offer for marriage.

Whom will I marry?..

Not answering that yet, but married I will be and by accepting one I will be rejecting the other. Sadist I may sound, but "rejecting" a company, when I'd been at the receiving end, will be very sweet.

Best of luck to you if are looking to get married and also if you already are.

Cheers.

Visapur Trek

Blogging after a long time. Me and Gads had been planning to go for a trek ever since the summer vacations began. The best time to go is once the rains have come because the weather becomes cool and the landscape turns into a majestic shade of green. With the monsoons playing truant this year our wait extended into july..but the wait was worth it!

We boarded the 8am local at Pune Station for Malvali. Malvali is a station just short of Lonavla. We reached after an hour and asked round for directions to the Lohagad-Visapur trail. We took an auto to the base of the fort. Our plan was to trek to both Lohagad and the Visapur forts but a local warned that the Visapur trail was not advisable as it wound up through dense jungle and getting lost was a possibility. We started walking our way up and after an hour we could see the entire town and even beyond it below us. A train was crossing the plain below and it looked so small- like drawing a straight line on a blank piece of paper. After the initial delight of taking in the views ,walking on the cobbled road got irritating and at times tiring. The cobbled path ended at a tri section. Now, the last thing we'd wanted was choosing a path. The left one we could see was winding away to another hill.The remaining two, however, went straight up. On a hunch, we took the middle one. At this time we also met up two other guys who are going to Loahagad and like us were also lost. We introduced ourselves and paused to breathe and eat a little. Half an hour later, we reached the point where the trail bifurcated to Lohagad and Visapur. To our right was Lohagad, barely a 15 min walk away. We mistook it and took the left for Visapur assuming we were going to Lohagad. We walked for almost two hours without gaining altitude and this had us really worried..more so because the trail was now very narrow, slushy and in the thick cover of the forest. Our persistence was rewarded when we reached a point from where we could see a ridge of the fort. The way..the marked out way, however stopped dead. The only way up was to climb up a small stream. Though the water was in most places ankle deep..it was the danger of slipping on the rocks that was worrying. We climbed cautiously and it helped that some good old advice on the trekking websites came in handy..always check the footholds and handholds before you put your weight on them coz I found support on a big rock but felt it shaking loosely. A little careless and it would have tumbled down and Gads ...might just have been rolled flat. We reached the top finally by 12....contented. The visibililty was barely 10m so didnt look around much. The wind was howling and I regretted not getting a wind cheater. We ate our lunch , started back and reached down by 3.

Shot in the arm for women empowerment

The government in the recent sixth pay commission announced two major decisions aimed towards women empowerment in the goverment jobs- the first was the extension of the maternity leave from the present three months to sixth months and secondly two years "child care" leave which can be availed any time till the child attains the age of 18 yrs. It allows the flexibility to break the two yr leave into any number of periods. Both the maternity and child care leave are fully paid. So effectively, a woman after giving birth can take a break of two and half years and be on the pay roll as well enjoy no loss of seniority.
These steps have, as expected, attracted its share of criticism. People are arguing the necessity of the two year "child care" leave as the maternity leave has till now sufficed. It is feared that it is a cosmetic move aimed at attracting women into the hugely unattractive government services ( sample this - in the private sector the only leave is maternity leave and that too only for 90 days) and also it was a poll gimmick. It is also feared that it will be misused. There is also the grudge that it is fully paid without any loss of seniority. Lastly , it is felt that men also deserve "child care" leave if they are considered equal in the responsibility of looking after the child. Is the role of a father only limited towards financing the education and well being of the child?.A case in point is the group "Fathers 4 justice" who are fighting for equal rights with mothers in England (http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/f4j/).
The arguments have their legitimate amount of concern. However, I believe that in principle the decision is correct. The major responsibility in the early years of a child, especially in the highly gender concious Indian society, lies with the mother. Hence, she must not be faced with the quandary of choosing between her job and her child. This move aims at allowing her to do both and with due dedication and and attention. The time span of two years, though long in duration, is needed as by then the child can start attending pre school and be given in the care of a day baby sitter.
The fear of it being misused is also well placed. It is sure to happen, but then, any rule that is implemented, particularly in govt services, is exploited. Also the misuse is not gender specific, both being equal to the crime. So that should not stop the govt from implementing policies . In fact for a change, the govt has set a precedent for the private sector to follow. This welfare measure must, however, come with a rider, that if found illegitimate, will attract sever punishment in the form of loss of seniority and pay. It will act as a deterrence. Also, it must not allow two women colleagues in the same department to request for child care leave at the same time. There must be a system in place to ensure that the void is filled and work progresses smoothly. Imagine being told to come back after two years for moving your file in a sarkari daftar as the madam has gone to take her of her child. It sounds impossible, but in our system, such anomalies, with passage of time gain acceptance and eventually find salvage value in the form of sitcoms like " Office Office".
Lastly, how do you placate the male ego?. The issue here is a very sensitive one and involves gender and parental rights. Herein, comes the objection to the part that the leave can be broken up into parts till the child attains the age of 18. During the first years after birth, the child , admittedly, needs the mother "biologically". Thereafter the child is nurtured "emotionally" in equal measure by both the parents. A father can look after the needs of his child to prepare for his 12 th class examinations as much as the mother. The law looks at it differently..to the extent of even overlooking this obvious argument. The solution lies in amending the law to state that -
1) If both parents are working in the govt sector then they may as a single entity avail the "child care" leave. It would be at the discretion of the concerned couple to decide who and when will take leave.
or
2)If the leave must be availed by the mother only it must be done in continuation of the materniry leave, that is, the first two and half years of her child. This must also come with a certain loss of seniority and reduction in pay to ensure no loss is incurred to the organization and the replacement duly filled.

As I said, the decision is good in principle and intent but it will need many modifications before it can be implemented. Not surprisingly, it is still pending before the parliament. It remains to be seen when and how it gets implemented because another women empowerment bill- The Representation of Women Act is pending for the past three years.

Closure

Third yrs going to end in a couple of days.

It will be that time when I will pack all my stuff into two boxes. Two boxes..thats all that defines my life. Say goodbye to my room that was the juke box in the wing..the pub on the booze nights..theatre for so many movies..and ya at times a study room..just this piece of 12 ft X 10ft space. Goodbye to the balcony , perched on which Pachva and me whiled away our time listening to "You have got to hide your love away" to more recently "Desecration Smile". To the time we 15 guys toiled day and night through winter and summer..to shadowfax. To the enumber of FIFA matches with Akva..which I almost always lost. To this room where I curled up one day feeling miserable and lonely. To the time when I couldnt get enough of listening to "Everybody hurts".

To the time when I started writing a diary after six years ..to give myself a voice that I dont want anyone else to hear. To when I bared my feelings for someone..somewhere..sometime. To when I heard a friend's problems and felt scared and lucky both. To the walk to Cnot at 12 in the night for that last puff listening to Chandel's rendition of Madhushala. To that impromptu dash to Nutan at 2 in the morn..we just had to go there. To the raw feeling of failure of my biggest endeavor. To the two awesome days in Del with Gads and that amazing chocolate shake in a bylane in Khan Market. To the high time with Bora and Deb when a week back I couldnt imagine wanting to speak with him. To the catching up on the latest gossip with Axle and a bet that I am sure to win.

To all those..

Its closure.